Tantrums are loud, messy, and often leave parents feeling embarrassed or overwhelmed—especially in public places like Disneyland. But here’s the truth: tantrums are a child’s way of expressing unmet needs or desires. That’s why consistent parenting and clear communication are key to helping kids learn how to express themselves appropriately.
The Disneyland Tantrum Moment
On a recent trip to Disneyland—the so-called “Happiest Place on Earth”—I saw plenty of crying, screaming, and pouting. While my family had a wonderful time, I couldn’t help but notice how differently parents responded to their children’s meltdowns.
Here are some common reactions I witnessed:
- Yelling or scolding
- Physical punishment (unfortunately, yes)
- Giving in to demands
- Offering hugs or affection
- Pleading or panicking
- Distracting with snacks
- Making empty threats
- Following through on threats
From the outside, it’s easy to say what should be done. But in the moment—when you’re hot, tired, and stressed—it’s tempting to reach for a quick fix. The problem? Quick fixes often teach kids that tantrums work.
Positive Parenting Strategies That Actually Work
Instead of reacting emotionally, try these evidence-based approaches:
👂 Active Ignoring + Labeled Praise
Let’s say your child screams for ice cream before lunch. Calmly say, “Not yet, sweetie, we’ll have ice cream after lunch.” If the tantrum continues, turn away and ignore the behavior. Once your child calms down, immediately offer praise:
I love how calm you are now. You can have ice cream if you ask nicely after lunch.
This teaches your child that calm behavior earns attention and rewards—not tantrums.
🎯 Offer Clear Choices
Children crave control. Try saying, “You have two choices: ice cream after lunch, or no ice cream. What do you choose?” Giving structured options helps kids feel empowered while keeping boundaries intact.
💬 Use Labeled Praise Often
When your child makes a good choice, say things like:
Thank you for listening to Mommy. I appreciate how calm you were just now.
This reinforces positive behavior and builds emotional intelligence.
Final Takeaway for Parents
Effective parenting isn’t about perfection—it’s about consistency, patience, and connection. Start practicing these techniques now, not just when you’re at Disneyland. Your child will learn that calm communication works, and you’ll feel more confident navigating those tough parenting moments.
Christina Castorena, LMFT, is a compassionate therapist with over 20 years of diverse clinical experience. She specializes in providing culturally sensitive, trauma-informed care to LGBTQIA+ individuals, children, and adults across all life stages. Christina is deeply committed to helping clients navigate challenges such as depression, anxiety, trauma, relationship issues, grief, and identity development. Her practice is rooted in evidence-based approaches and a warm, supportive environment where healing and growth can flourish.
Learn more about Christina Castorena’s therapeutic approach and professional background by visiting her About page, LinkedIn profile or her Psychology Today page.
Call Christina today to schedule a free 15 minute phone consultation: +1 (818) 514-5655.